So many suppressed emotions. To outsiders I am the happiest person alive, but when the moon starts to shine through as the dark sky approaches, I suddenly feel more alone than ever. The emotions wash me away and bury me under oceans of tears. The guilt hits me out of nowhere. Then comes the shame and the depression.
Silently crying , attempting not to make too much noise. It feels good though, these tears needed to break through. Trying to come to understand how a person can feel so empty within, and still manage to put up a great front every single day is mind boggling. If I’m told I am such a great person with a heart of gold , then why do I feel such agony?
I guess maybe, thats the outcome of swallowing such emotions in the first place. I’m such a strong minded person but that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to feel.
But I blame myself always. I blame myself for not appreciating people and things enough. For not being good enough. Not putting in enough hard work. Maybe just maybe in the end it comes down to me accepting all that is, as simply enough..